The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
