dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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