Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Randomize
