she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
