Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Randomize
