Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
