i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I will pee on everything he values.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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