I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize
