do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize