Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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