i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize