I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
while you were getting the key to the dorm from the lobby i was giving a drunk monolog to the security camera about my life
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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