O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
The power of my boobs compel you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
