When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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