It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Randomize
