i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
How many fucks given?
0.12846
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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