that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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