Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Small penises have feelings too.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Randomize
