Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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