It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
is wine microwaveable?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
