No, you can still breathe under the balls.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize