so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
