2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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