u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
