i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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