never play flip cup with pint glasses
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
you inspire me to be a worse person
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Can you bring me the toilet please
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
