Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
