Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
