i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize