I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
We left the knife in your bed.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
