fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
