Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
