i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
