i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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