Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
