We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
