He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
