she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
