Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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