Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Randomize
