So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
