Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
