ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize
