would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
