I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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