i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
