I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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