Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
