It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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