I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize