I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
