That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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