my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
