I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
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