I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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