I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
