i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
