So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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