is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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