So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
