My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
