This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
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